


Ring ring. It's booty.

by Babbler1202



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drunk Peter, Drunk Texting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, Identity Reveal, Insecure Wade, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Shameless Smut, Spideypool - Freeform, Wall Sex, insecure deadpool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babbler1202/pseuds/Babbler1202
Summary: Finally he snatched his phone off the dresser and flung himself down on his unmade bed, breathing a sigh of relief at not having anything else to do today. He glanced at his phone and saw the text was from Spidey and felt a rush of surprise and excitement. Spidey almost never texted him! Maybe he needed Wades help on a mission! Whoo boy Wade was so down to help out the cutie with a booty. He’d even be willing to get out of bed and put on another suit. He opened the text with a flourish intending to answer quickly and cheerfully but what he saw made him stop and stare in awe. The boxes, too, went dead silent.(Vaguely taking place in the marvel verse somewhere. I'm sure this is far from canon)





	Ring ring. It's booty.

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was supposed to be a quick joke but it turned out kind of sad and extremely sappy. Like straight up melodrama and sugar. So if you're into that, here's a quick bite to satisfy you. 
> 
> Boxes:
> 
> {Yellow}
> 
> *White*

Just as Wade began peeling off his sweaty, torn, blood and gore covered suit to climb into what was not really a much cleaner shower, he heard a ping from his phone indicating he had a new text. He paused before he decided whoever it was could wait and jumped under the steaming spray. It was probably just Weasel anyway. Texting about some new job. Who else could it be really? Not like Wade had a lot of friends.

*Yeah like NO friends at ALL* White interrupted Wade’s thoughts harshly, never one to spare him from cold hard reality.

{I mean Weasel sort of counts as a friend} Yellow responded, always the voice of hope...or delusion more like it. 

Wade ignored the boxes’ chatter, focusing on getting the blood spray from his latest kill, a child molester who’d somehow gotten acquitted and had a surprising contingent of bodyguards, off of his already disgusting body. He let the hot water run over his head and shoulders, the burning spray hardly adding much discomfort more than his scars were already causing him today. It’d actually be pretty relaxing if Wade could somehow drown out the voices inside his head. But that was a wasted wish. They weren't going anywhere.

*Weasel would sell us to Satan for one corn chip*

{Harsh man}

*Just the God’s honest truth and you know it*

{Well what about Spider-Man? He’s kind of like a friend, yeah? I mean, last week he didn’t even try to push us off the roof when we tried to touch the booty.}

*Spider-Man thinks we’re a monster and he’s not wrong. Spidey would be better off if we just died*

{Too bad! LOL We can’t. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt.}

*Yeah maybe we should try again though? I feel like takin’ a little nap*

{We could use the quiet yeah? OR we could crank the volume UP!}

Wade let his thoughts wander as Yellow started singing Pump Up the Jams at the top of his “lungs”, wondering what Spidey was up to this week. Wade would usually have seen him around by now. It was Friday night. Via many a context clue, Wade knew Spiderman was in college but unless it was finals week, Spidey usually made it out to patrol the city at least a few nights a week. Wade knew his patrolling habits because he kind of made it his mission to seek out the webbed wonder whenever he was out. His banter with Spider-Man tended to be the highlight of his night. But Spider-Man hadn’t shown his fine self all week. Wade hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him...not that he’s ever seen Spider-Man’s hide... or his hair...Wade COULD probably figure out his identity if he tried but Spidey had so far been kind of friendly and Wade didn’t feel like betraying his trust like that. Spidey was pretty much his favorite person in the world so it felt wrong to do something he knew would upset the web head. Plus, if Wade was going to harbor this massive crush, it was more fun to imagine Spidey was hot like burning under the mask. The reality might not live up to Wade’s imagination so why spoil the fun. 

Who was he kidding, even if Spidey looked like a troll, Wade would still feel the same. Sigh.

Still not listening to the box’s musical stylings, Wade finished scrubbing down, giving himself one last rinse for good measure. He could never really get to feeling clean enough after a job lately. He stepped out of the shower, dried off and grabbed some sweats and a tank out of the unfolded laundry piled at the foot of his bed. What could he say, he was not the best housekeeper, even on his good days. 

Finally he snatched his phone off the dresser and flung himself down on his unmade bed, breathing a sigh of relief at not having anything else to do today. He glanced at his phone and saw the text was from Spidey and felt a rush of surprise and excitement. Spidey almost never texted him! Maybe he needed Wades help on a mission! Whoo boy Wade was so down to help out the cutie with a booty. He’d even be willing to get out of bed and put on another suit. He opened the text with a flourish intending to answer quickly and cheerfully but what he saw made him stop and stare in awe. The boxes, too, went dead silent.

 

Right there, if front of his face, was a picture sent from Spider-Man’s phone. It was a bit of a blurry shot and the lighting was poor but you could still tell that it was a naked body. A lithe, pale naked body, bent over on an unmade bed, presenting to the world what had to be the best looking ass Wade had ever seen. There was nothing in the picture to identify the subject. Just blank walls and messy covers and a corner of a bedside table with what looked like some textbooks stacked up on it. But Wade had a very strong suspicion he was looking at the one and only Spider booty. It was certainly fine enough to be Spidey’s ass. Wade was so lost in staring that it actually took him about 2 minutes to realize there was text that came along with the pic. It read 

'Yo lover, bet ur missin this. How bout a booty call. I don’t mis u but I miss ur dick. Call me.'

It didn’t take long for the boxes to reboot and flood Wade’s brain with babble.

{OH MY GOD DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?}

*I feel like you are just starting a Christmas song so let me stop you right there but, YES I also see what you see and I am not sure my brain can handle it*

{ME NEITHER}

“I’ll second that.” Wade said aloud, still feeling stunned. “I’m sure he meant to send this to someone else.” 

*Uh yeah DUH* White quickly snapped out *No one would EVER send you naughty pics of themselves. You’re nasty. However, since you are nasty, we should take advantage of this immediately. What do you say we use this as blackmail to get MORE nakey pics!*

{Or ooo. We could mastubate, like right now, to this one pic, and THEN text Spidey about tha blackmail. To get MOER.}

*I like how you think*

Wade considered what the boxes were saying for about 30 seconds before shaking himself and sitting up in bed to text Spidey back. He may be a monster but he wasn’t an abuser and he wasn’t going to take advantage of Spidey like that. “I have to let him know he sent it to the wrong person so he isn’t sitting there waiting for their text back.”

{Oh. Noooo. That’s a shitty ideaaaa. Why do you always have the WORST ideas?}

*I agree with the idiot for once, That sounds terrible and has literally no payoff for us. Let’s at LEAST jack-off to the goods first. We’re never gonna see anything this pretty again.*

But Wade was already texting back, shooting off a quick text before he could change his mind.

‘Um baby boy. I think you got the wrong number. Sorry. Don’t feel embarrassed. I swear I’ll delete the picture.’

Wade was about to do just that when a response came in quicker than he would have expected. Looks like Spidey really was sitting by the phone waiting for a text back. Wade was glad he decided not to leave him hanging. However, he was not sure what to make of Spidey’s response.

‘HI DP. Srry. I’m drink. How’r you? U shd keep the pic. ;)’

*What?!*

{WHAAAT?}

“Wha-”

Before Wade could even exclaim in surprise a second text came in.

‘Actully You know what I tink u shd see the goods fr. Im come over.’

It wasn’t an idle threat. Spidey had been to Wade’s place several times before, to get patched up, or just to rest and decompress with pizza and TV after a long night of patrolling. He certainly knew the way. Wade quickly texted back.

‘No Baby boy! You stay where you are. You’re too drunk to ...swing? Or maybe even walk.’

And followed it up with, 

‘Plus you don’t actually want to see me right now. You’re just drunk.’

‘Wade. It TOTALLY want to see you but mbey shdn’t leav. You come her or I’m coming over.’

And Spidey proceeded to do something Wade never could have expected. He sent an address. 

Wade had to assume that Spidey had sent HIS OWN address despite being notoriously stingy with any information that could give away his identity. Wade was blown away. The boxes seemed lost as well.

*What the what?*

{What does this meeeaaan??}

*He has got to be fucking with us. I do not like being fucked with. Let’s find him and kill him.*

{Do you think he likes us? Maybe he wants all up on this.}

“Not possible” Wade blurts. At the same time White growls out, *Not a chance. He’s GOT to be trying to FUCK with us.*

“I think he’s just drunk and confused. I wonder if he’s ever been drunk before. Doesn’t seem like he’s handling it well.”

{We should go to him. We must find our love and take CARE of him.} Yellow swooned

* Oh we’ll take care of him all right.* White sounded menacing as always but he got cut off as another text came in.

‘WAAAADE are you coming? I’m putting on my web shooters right now if you don’t animate me.’  
‘*answer me.’

‘NO. Sorry Spidey. I’m just ...very lost?’

‘That’s was the address s for. Come ooooon. I’m borrred.’

“Well, that does it.” Wade stated before rolling out of bed and shoving his feet back into his muddy boots.

'On my way' He sent quickly, before Spidey could do anything stupid.

On his way out the door he contemplated just wearing a hat but changed his mind, pulling a clean mask over his head before he zipped a grey hoodie over the top of his tank and pulled the hood all the way up. He decided to skip the swords and just stuffed a gun down the back of his pants, safety on. He may be going incognito but you can never be too careful. He didn’t want to lead anyone...unsavory... from his place to Spider-Man’s. He walked out the door and took the elevator to the ground floor, in too much of a hurry to take the stairs as usual.

Yellow and White were practically jumping around in his head. Yellow continually waffled back and forth between imagining how they were going to completely wreck drunk Spidey versus how they were going to take such good care of their ickle spider. White was thinking only of possible betrayal and how tricks lead to death. Wade was too preoccupied finding his way to Spidey’s lair {Ha! His web!} to worry much about their idiotic rambling. It actually didn’t take long for Wade to reach the front doors of the building Spidey had sent. That was surprising. He honestly didn’t expect Spider-man of all people to live in the same run down neighborhood as Wade’s current safe house. Surely Spidey could do better than this ...slum.

Rather than hang around the door contemplating Spidey’s sub par living situation, Wade let himself in the front door, busted lock posing no issue. Wade bypassed the out-of-order elevator and a large pile of unattended trash and started quickly climbing the 12 flights of stairs to get to the apartment the web head had sent. He didn’t think leaving Spider-Man alone for much longer was a good idea.

Completely out of breath, Wade stopped on the 12th floor and scanned his surroundings. He spotted the scuffed door leading to apartment 12E pretty quickly and walked over intending to knock. Before he could even finish lifting his hand the door flew open and a young guy who couldn’t be much older than 18, sprung at Wade faster than his eyes could track. 

{EEK}

*Whoa, this tiny mugger is lucky we didn’t bring Bea and Arthur or he’d be straight up impaled.*

Wade didn’t get a good look before the guy wrapped his arms and legs around Wade’s torso, squeezing him harder than he should be able to, considering he seemed to weigh practically nothing. Wade stood stock still in front of the wide open door and gazed into a darkened apartment, not really seeing it.

“Uhhhhh.” Nothing intelligible came to mind. 

From the crook of his neck came a soft, muffled voice “Waaaaaade”

“Spidey?!” Wade was absolutely nonplussed. Not only had Spiderman invited him over to his secret home, it appeared he was walking around sans mask. Sans costume! Wade slowly moved his arms to support Spidey around the waist {Nooo. Touch the booty! Now’s our chance!} from where he was hanging off of Wade’s neck. He could feel that he was clearly just wearing a t-shirt and soft pants. Holy Shit. If Spidey ever detached himself Wade would be able to see his face. It didn’t seem fair to take advantage of Spider-Man like that. When he was clearly not in his right mind. 

Wade slowly shuffled forward without dislodging the acrobatic young man. Turning around after getting inside the darkened apartment to shut the door, cutting off the light from the hallway. There. He felt better now about unseating Spidey from his delicate position. Without Spidey’s amazing vision, Wade wouldn’t be able to see his face clearly. He tried to remove Spider-Man’s arms from around his neck but the kid sure wasn’t letting up on the super strength.

“Waaaade” Came the muffled voice again.

“Yeah Spidey babe?” Wade asked cautiously. 

“The room’s spinning and I want it ta stop”

Wade made his way over to the couch and tried again to remove Spider-Man and set him down but it was clearly a lost cause, so he turned and sat himself down, allowing Spidey to settle in his lap, face still tucked into Wades neck. Hopefully that would help Spidey feel less like he was spinning.

“Baby boy, how much did you have to drink? I didn’t think you even COULD get drunk with that quick metabolism.”

Spidey slowly sat back a bit, untucking his head from where he’d had it hidden. He gazed into Wade’s masked face. Wade couldn’t make out much in the low light except for what was possibly dark hair and huge dark eyes. But from what Wade COULD tell, he might have a bigger problem than he thought. It looked like Spidey might be...more attractive than he would have guessed. And...sad? Were those tear tracks?

Spidey gave a small hiccup before speaking “I sorta snuck into Stark tower and...stole some Asgardian mead from Thor’s room?” He made it sound like a question, like he didn’t want to admit that’s exactly what happened.

“Snuck into the tower?! I thought that thing was impenetrable. How did you get in there without getting caught?”

*How indeed? Lil spider’s been holding out on us. We could be breaking in there ALL THE TIME. Think of the FUN we could have.*

{Ooo yeah. Let’s do that now}

Spider-Man continued to look into the eyes of Wade’s mask. “I can’t get drunk on regular alcohol.” Spidey shrugged. “Super metabolism. Mr. Stark used to kiiiind of be my mentor. And Jarvis knows me, so I can kinda come and go as I please. Or at least… I could. Maybe after stealing from the tower they won’t let me anymore.” Spider man looked pensive and troubled in the low light. Wade’s eyes had adjusted a bit so he could better make out his features and whooo boy he was definitely fucked. 

{Look at him biting his pretty pink lips.}

*Jesus that should be illegal.*

“No kidding.” Wade breathlessly responded to White without thinking.

“No I’m serious.” Spidey responded, thinking Wade was speaking to him. 

Wade chose to ignore any further commentary from the peanut gallery in favor of reassuring the boy. “Spidey, I’m sure the Avengers aren’t going to be that mad about you taking a bottle of mead. You don’t have to worry about them locking you out. Who would even do that? Anyway, you seem kinda upset, baby boy. What brought this on? Taking Mead? Getting drunk? Booty calls to an ex? It all seems kind of unlike you.”

{And who is this ex? Hmmm? Sounds like someone that needs their face smashed in if you ask me.}

*I second that motion. Let’s get to the face smashing*

Wade silently urged the Boxes to shut up while waiting for Spidey to answer. To his horror, Spidey's big brown eyes filled with tears and began to overflow, the city lights shining in the window creating silvery tracks down his pale freckled face. His breath hitched once, like he was trying to hold back a sob. “It...it will have been 4 years today...since she died..since I..I killed herrrr.” His last words ended on a quiet drawn out keen as the boy began to sob in earnest. He curled forward into Wade’s chest and pressed his face into the fabric of Wade’s hoodie, tears quickly soaking into the fabric.

Wade was at a complete loss as to what to do to comfort the heartbroken young man. He’d never had anyone he NEEDED to comfort before. He slowly wrapped his arms around Spidey’s back and pulled him in closer to his chest, making the occasional shushing noise he tried his best to bring the boy what comfort he could, slowly rocking them both from side to side. 

Yellow was ecstatic. This was EXACTLY as he’s envisioned it. White was just confused.

*Why on earth would he want US to be here when he’s so obviously sad. Looking at our ugly mug it definitely only going to make him sadder.*

{Wait, is it ‘sadder’ or ‘more sad’? I’ve always wondered.}

*I’m still not convinced this isn’t some kind of trick.*

“I’m going to make you BOTH more sad if you don’t shut the fuck up and let me think.” Wade mumbled into Spidey’s soft hair, where he was currently pressing his mask covered lips.

“Hmm?” Spider-Man asked. Wade realized that the boy had stopped weeping and was now just hugging Wade around the middle. It was strange that he still hadn’t made any move to get away.

“Nothing, baby boy. Just talking to the voices in my head.” Wade responded quietly, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful spell they seemed to have fallen under. Wade glanced down at the boy noticing he was wearing pink pajama pants covered in little Hello Kitty faces. {ADORABLE} Yellow Gasped. Wade loved them. “Nice pant’s, baby boy.” Wade said, completely sincere. Spider-Man giggled half heartedly and then said “Peter.”

“What? Who?” Wade was lost. 

“Peter.” Spidey repeated himself, sitting up and facing Wade. “Peter Parker. It’s my name. Seems fair that you know, since I know yours. And it’d be stupid to keep it a secret now that you know where I live and you’ve seen my face.”

*Wow. Big risk taker here tonight.*

{Oh my God. His name is Peter. Peter Peter pumpkin eater. Petey pie. I love him.}

“Well I mean, I can sort of see your face. It’s pretty dark in here...Peter.” Wade said, trying the name out for the first time. 

At that statement Peter leaned over the arm of the couch. He reached out and flicked on a lamp sitting on the table right next to them, casting his face in golden light. Wade was struck speechless once again. Peter was looking back at him with a determined set to his mouth. “There. Now you’ve seen me. No takesies backsies.”

“Wow. Oh my God, baby boy. You’re beautiful.”

Peter smacked Wade on the shoulder. “Stop. I am not.”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Petey,” Wade interrupted their back and forth “Do you mind if I call you Petey?” Peter shook his head once. Wade continued. “Petey, if you don’t mind me saying, you don’t seem very drunk anymore.”

“Yeah.” Peter sighed, seeming dejected. “I think it’s already worked its way out of my system.”

“I’m sorry you’re feeling sad today, baby boy, and that it drove you to getting smashed. But I don’t think that’s a good way to deal with your grief.”

“Guilt.”

“Guilt?”

“I know if doesn’t make sense but, I just...if I’d been more convincing, I’d have been able to make sure she didn’t follow me. Or if I’d been faster, I could have caught her in time. Or if I’d-”

“Woah, woah there, babe. I don’t know who we’re talking about but it doesn’t sound like you were in control of any of that. And that is not a healthy way of thinking. Do you think that I should blame myself for how I look? Should I have known better than to trust Weapon X when they said they could cure my cancer? Or tried harder to convince them not to torture me?”

Peter looked aghast. “God no, Wade. How can you think that?”

“I don’t think that. On my good days. On most days. But I understand how sometimes it gets a little harder to remove yourself as the cause of the bad stuff that happens to you. I do. And I will be the first to tell you that, though it’s hard to believe, it is not your fault.”

“I know but-”

“No, Pete. It is not your fault.”

Peter stopped and looked like he might cry again. But instead he just slumped forward. Hugging closer to Wade and tucking his head under Wade’s chin again. 

“I think I really needed to hear that today. It’s just .. really hard. She was my first girlfriend you know and...the second person that I loved to die right in front of me. I always felt guilty for Uncle Ben’s death, and I guess… I guess I just don’t know how to feel grief without it turning into guilt.”

Wade stayed silent. Letting the boy talk it out.

“It used to be better. I’d always spend the..the hard days with Aunt May and we’d get through them together but she got sick and..there wasn’t anything the doctor’s could do and... now she’s-” He shudders to a stop, hiccuping a sob. ”Now she’s gone too, and I…” The boy stopped talking in favor of crying silently for a few long drawn out minutes. Wade just continued to hold him close. Letting him take what comfort he could.

Peter continued to sniffle and breathe little sobs into Wade’s neck for many long minutes until he finally breathed a deep sigh of what sounded a little like relief. Then he just sat quietly, close to Wade for a few more moments before finally sitting up and speaking again. “Thanks, Wade. I don’t know what I was thinking texting Will to come fuck me. I knew it’d be a hard day, which is why I stole the mead in the first place, but I didn’t realize what an idiot I’d become once I drank it.”

“Will? Who’s that? I’ll kill him.” Wade growled, low and menacing.

Peter sighed, “You know, he’s really nobody. I didn’t even like him. We were only a thing for a minute, and I’m the one who ended it. I guess I just wanted someone to hold me. I’m so glad it was you that I sent that text to. Thank you, Wade. This means a lot to me.”

“Why are you glad it’s me though, baby boy? I’m kind of the worst.” Wade chuckles nervously “And I sorta thought...you hated me? A little bit? Plus, now I have that picture on my phone.” Wade grinned, trying to change the subject, not really wanting to hear Peter say that it was just happenstance, and that Wade would normally be his last choice. 

Peter groaned and leaned his forehead against Wade’s chest. When he looked up again his cheeks were stained a deep pink that was honestly adorable. 

{That blush! Oh my god! Do you think it extends down his chest? Further?} 

Peter continued “Wade, I swear to God. If you share that picture with anyone, I will find a way to end you.”

“I would never!” Wade replied quickly.

“I know you wouldn’t.” Peter surprised him by answering and kept speaking, quiet but determined. “I.. I trust you Wade.”

Out of all the things that had happened on this honestly mind-blowing evening, this was the thing that shocked and amazed Wade the most. 

*Trust? What is this “trust”?*

{I do declare! *swoon*}

“Baby boy” Wade whispered reverently. “I trust you too. But I’m kind of a creep and definitely creepy LOOKING. I’m sure that someone else would be a better confidant on a hard day like today. If you want, I can call ol’ Tin Can. Or Captain Buns-o-Steel. I’m sure a fine upstanding Avenger would be better qualified to help you through your grief. I mean, I’m practically a monster.”

“Wade!” Peter looked stern and outraged. “You are not a Monster. I’ll admit that at first you were a bit misguided and I ..I didn't handle that very well. It took me a while to trust you but...we’ve been teaming up for years now and you’ve done nothing but treat me with kindness. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count, patched me up when I’ve been hurt, fed me, let me crash at your place, and kept me entertained when..when I couldn’t face myself. When I couldn’t stand to be alone. You…” Here Spider-Man trailed off, slowing down from his impassioned speech while Wade continued to stare in shock, struck dumb by Peter’s vehemence. “You’re my friend, Wade.” 

Wade didn’t know what to say. He was astounded to say the least. He had no idea Peter felt that way. That he thought of them as friends.

{I mean, *I* thought we were friends. Wasn’t I JUST saying that we were friends. Guess I’m right sometimes after all, chumps!} Yellow crowed indignantly in the background as Wade continued to sit, staring dumbly at Spidey.

Apparently Wade sitting and staring wasn’t working for Peter. He huffed and spoke with attitude “Wade. If you’re not going to say anything after I’ve just made myself vulnerable and declared us friends, the least you could do is take off your mask so I can see your expression.” 

*Uh no.*

{nooooooooo.}

*Why on EARTH would the kid want to see the fucked up horror that is our face.*

{noooooooooo}

* Eyesore? Monstrosity?*

{I mean YES it is an eyesore AND a monstrosity AND a horror but NO we do NOT need this sweet Spidey throwing up the leftover mead after he sees what’s hiding under the mask.}

“Let me think!” Wade exclaimed and shook his head slightly, trying to silence the boxes.

“Wade?” Peter asked hesitantly, eyes looking wide in his pretty face.

“Sorry, baby boy. The boxes think that’s a bad idea and so do I. There’s no way you want to see this ugly mug. Don’t want you losin’ your lunch.”

“Don’t tell me what I want, Wade Wilson. If I say I want to see your face, then I want to see it...only if...if you’re OK with it though? Wait, boxes? What are boxes?” Peter started to wonder in the middle of his outrage and then proceeded to answer his own question. “Oh the voices in your head. Gotcha. Well they can just SHUT the heck up. No one wants their opinion.”

*Excuse me?*

{How rude!}

*So wait, he knows about us and he STILL trusts you?*

{I think our opinions matter!}

*And he still wants to see our face? Has to be a trick. I still vote we kill him.* 

{Humph! Well, I say show it to him. It’s what he deserves after being so ..uncomplimentary!}

*Uncomplimentary? Really? That’s what you’re worried about?* 

{As far as I’m concerned this is our future husband, and I will not be spoken to that way by--}

Wade was at his wits end listening to the boxes argue and in an effort to just ..make them stop, he surprised even himself by quickly reaching up and tugging the mask up, over and off his head completely. He was honestly not sure what made him do it and he regretted it almost immediately. He scrunched his eyes closed and tried to lower his head down so Petey couldn’t get a full look at what was sure to be the end of this friendship.

At least he’d finally shut the damn boxes up.

As he sat there in trepidation, fists clenched on the couch cushions beside him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, he felt the brush of fingers softly across one cheek. Wade still didn’t move to lift his head or open his eyes, fearing Peter’s expression. Would he be disgusted? Or God, would he be scared? Wade knew the scarring fluctuated and it’d been a pretty good week for his skin, but even on a good week, he still looked like a halloween mask. 

The fingers continued to trail over his face, feather light and careful, moving down to his chin. With very little force, the hand slowly lifted Wades chin so that, if he opened his eyes, he’d be looking right a Spidey. He didn’t open his eyes.

“Wade.” Peter coaxed softly. “Wade, please look at me.”

Wade did not look.

“Wade, please. I promise not to run. I promise it’s not as bad as you think. Please, please look at me.” And that strained sadness that still remained in Peter’s voice, that longing, made Wade unclench his fists and relax his face. He slowly opened his own blue eyes, finally staring back into Peter’s big brown eyes. Without the filter of the white eyes on the mask Peter looked even more lovely. All peaches and cream with wild hair and bright eyes. Wade didn’t deserve to breath the same air as him, much less stare into his gorgeous eyes.

Peter smiled, and it was brilliant “Hey there. Fancy seeing you here, hmm?” He continued to sit in Wade’s lap, grinning at him like he had nowhere else he’d rather be. Wade was here in Spider-Man’s apartment, sitting on Spider-Man’s couch, with Spider-Man in his lap and Spider-Man just happened to be the most attractive person Wade had ever seen. And apparently the sweetest. 

“Yeah.” It came out more hushed than Wade intended, almost reverent. “Fancy that.”

Peter giggled once again and then sobered. “Wade, I really am sorry for putting you in this position. I should never have sent you that text saying you had to come over or I’d ..do something stupid. It was manipulative and I...I just shouldn’t have treated you that way.”

“Baby boy, you were drunk and I don’t blame you for wanting a ..friend to come over. You can call me any time. I don’t care if it’s for pizza money, to help take down a string of human traffickers, or you just need a hug. I will always show up.”

Peter got a look on his face like he had just figured something out. He seemed surprised and joyful. But all he said was “Oh.”

“Oh? What’s up, babe? Didn’t think I’d be willing to shell out for pizza? Well, let me tell you when it comes to food, I’m always willing to foot the bill as long as we get to share.” Wade grinned up at Peter who had sat up straighter in his lap.

Peter moved closer, glancing down at Wade’s lips and then back into his eyes. Wade felt a prickle of awareness at the intensity he now saw in Peter’s eyes. He seemed to settle a little further down in Wade’s lap and Wade had to physically restrain himself from pushing up the tiniest bit to feel the press of Peter against his lap. 

*Down boy!*

{Ooo no, please proceed}

“Oh.” Peter said again almost on a gasp. “Oh, I love you.” Peter sounded surprised at himself, clearly having just come to this conclusion. He then pushed forward, muffling the beginning of Wade’s protest as he pressed their lips together in a single chaste kiss. Wade was so startled he didn’t move an inch. But Peter was back seconds later for another soft press of lips and another and another. And suddenly Wade was responding. He kissed Peter back, gripping the back of his t-shirt to pull him closer. Peter reached up to circle his hands behind the Merc’s neck, pulling him in. When Peter sent a tentative brush of his tongue against Wade's lips, he found it easy to open and allow the boy in. Soon they we kissing with more fervor. Wet, open mouthed kisses. Completely lost in each other. The world around them fell away. Peter squirmed, trying to get even closer and Wade felt his amazing ass press against what had become a pretty impressive hard on. Wade’s sweat pants weren’t doing much to disguise it and Peter seemed to like that. The boy started to rock down harder in Wades lap. Wade pushed back, dragging a long, low moan out of the younger man. 

At the sound of that moan, Wade startled and came back to himself. He pulled away from Peter on a gasp, forcing the boy to sit up. He lifted the smaller man off his lap and set him on the couch, swiftly. Peter was too surprised to protest. Wade stood and started to pace back and forth in the space in front of the couch and began to ramble. “Peter. Oh my God. Woah. Slow down, baby boy. What is..what is happening right now? Love? You can’t-”

“I can, and I do!” Peter interrupted Wade from his place on the couch before he could stutter any further. But Wade would not be deterred. 

“Petey pie, you’ve had a lot to drink. Nobody even LIKES me, much less...I can’t even. I don’t even like MYSELF, and I am definitely not good enough for you. You are so good and so pretty and so pure-”

“WADE! I’m not drunk anymore!” Peter practically shouted. Clearly he’d been trying to get Wade’s attention. He was standing in front of Wade now, reaching out to grip Wade’s shoulders and stop him in his tracks. 

“Wade.” Peter repeated more quietly. “What did I say about telling me what I want? Hmm? I know it’s a lot to take in, and I totally understand if you aren't interested--”

{Aren’t interested!? What on earth?! Not interested in the same way the IRS is ‘not interested’ in where we get our money.}

“Or if you need time to think about it-” 

*When have we ever taken time to think something through?* 

“But I know what I’m feeling and I..I love you. I think I have for a while and I just, needed to admit that to myself. You’ve been so good to me, Wade and, you make me laugh. We have FUN together. And you’re always putting me first. I honestly can’t believe I didn’t see it until now. Feel free to tell me you don’t feel the same way. After all, I’m far from perfect. But DON’T try to tell me how *I* feel.”

And Wade was tired of resisting. He was tired of trying to push his feelings for the smaller man to the back of his mind. He was tired of being alone when it looked like...maybe he didn’t need to be alone after all. So before he could second guess himself, he stepped forward into Peter’s space looming over him. Peter began to smile, but Wade didn’t stop there. He took another step forward. And another. Forcing Peter to retreat. Seconds later Wade had Peter pressed up against the wall beside what looked to be his bedroom door. “Wade?” Peter sounded tentative and unsure. And that just wouldn’t do. Peter should never feel anything except for sure about Wade. So Wade did what he needed to do and it felt so RIGHT for once. He growled low in his chest, leaned in and kissed Peter for all he was worth dragging another moan from the spider. 

Wade pressed Peter against the wall and Peter once again draped his arms around Wade’s shoulders, pulling the larger man close. Wade fit himself between Peter’s legs and lifted him up so that their hips were aligned. He didn’t for one second cease kissing Peter, as if it was the last kiss he’d ever be allowed. And it was so good. Peter’s mouth felt amazing and soft against Wade’s lips. His tongue was hot, quick and sweet, dipping in to invade Wade’s mouth. Peter’s body felt warm and slim pressed against him, and still so strong and sure. He shifted and this caused their groins to brush together startling a hitched gasp from Peter and another low growl from Wade. Oh god, Peter was hard and Wade could feel his hardness pressing next Wade’s. It was drugging. 

Wade broke their kiss. “Peter.” He bit out before continuing to press their clothed, impossibly hard cocks together from where Peter was held against the wall. Peter threw his head back in pleasure, stretching the long pale column of his neck in front of Wade’s mouth. The temptation was too much and he kissed his way down Peter’s throat. He tried again to get his thoughts in order “Petey pie. Ngh.” Another press of hips almost had Wade nearly whiting out from pleasure. “I love you too, baby boy.” Wade finally gasped out. “I love you so much. You are perfect. You are everything good.” Another wet, hot kiss. “I love you so much. Oh God!”

Peter was pressing back frantically, biting at Wade’s jaw now as the merc spoke. Another press of hips had Peter whining high in this throat. “Wade. Ugh. Love you.” He started. Sounding drunk all over again.” Wade, I’m gonna come in my pants if we don’t-” At that statement, Wade dropped the spider’s legs intending to let him settle on the floor so they could make the walk to the bedroom but instead of coming to rest on the floor, Peter’s feet came to rest on the wall and low and behold, the spider was stuck there. Using his powers to hold himself up. Wade was so turned on by this turn of events he shoved the idea of moving to a bed out of his mind, instead frantically reached to pull open both his own sweats and the front of Peter’s pants. His own huge cock sprung free, a deep throbbing red, and he managed to quickly extract Peter’s hard shaft as well. It was flushed a pretty pink and looked amazing next to Wade’s.

“Wade, oh God. Yes.” Peter said, watching avidly as Wade reached forward and wrapped one of his huge scarred hands around both of their cocks, pressing them together. He began to stroke them both, slow and careful. Just getting a feel for it. And it was blissful. His eyes wanted to slide shut but he found that he couldn’t look away from Peter’s face. Peter was gazing down at where Wade was jacking them both, his attention rapt. His eyes were half lidded. His mouth hung open slightly as if any second now he’d start drooling. Wade picked up the pace a bit, just to see what reaction he could draw out of Peter and when Peter let out a quiet grunt from where he was still stuck to the wall, that’s all that it took to push Wade over the edge. His balls drew up and he felt blinding pleasure wash over him from the base of his spine to engulf his whole body. He continued to grunt and work his and Peter’s cocks as he experienced what had to be the best orgasm of his life. And upon seeing Wade spilling over his dick and his own thick fingers, Peter too succumbed to the pleasure and added his seed to the mix. He cried out, shooting across Wade’s chest and abs. He whined high in his throat as he continued to thrust against Wade’s hips in a way that might have been embarrassing in any other situation. Until finally they both stilled, panting into each others mouths.

The apartment was dead quiet except for the sound of their intermingling breath for 3 whole minutes until only Wade heard 

{WOAH}  
*WOAH* 

Yellow sounded gut punched. And White was not much better.

{I am speechless. Do you feel speechless. I am like, without speech. Completely mute. Am I right?}

*I GUESS we don’t have to kill him, since you LOVE him and all, sheesh.*

{Whatever, don’t act like you don’t love him too!}

*Whatever.* And if the boxes could blush, White would be doing it.

Wade groaned and started to lightly bang his head on the wall next to where Peter was slowly sliding down from his perch to rest his feet on the floor. 

“Babe? Are you Ok? Did we- Did I do something you didn’t want?” Peter asked hesitantly, a look of worry on his face.

{He called us BABE!}

“NO!” Wade hurried to reassure the boy. “ I mean, yes I’m Ok. No, we didn't do anything bad. I’m just ...frustrated with the boxes. They’re... enjoying this a little too much.”

Peter looked shy. “So, did, um, did YOU enjoy it?”

“God, Petey baby. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed something more or been happier in my life.” Wade gazed down at the smaller man in wonder. A slight smile gracing his lips for a moment before taking in the mess they’d both made. “How about we get cleaned up and then we can get into your bed and talk. 

So Peter grabbed Wade’s hand and led Wade to the bathroom where they both wiped down with a wet cloth and then, still holding Wade’s hand he tugged Wade into his room and started to crawl into bed, pulling Wade after him. But Wade paused for a moment, reaching behind himself to pull the gun he’d stashed there out of the waistband of his pants, honestly confused as to how it hadn’t fallen out of the back of his pants after all they’d got up to. He set the gun on Peter’s bedside table.

“Wade.” Peter admonished. Judging Wade with his eyes. Wade looked sheepish and started to try to explain.

“No no, you don’t have to explain. It’s Ok. Better safe than sorry I guess. But Wade,” And now he patted the bed beside him. Wade slowly sat down next to Spidey, scooting closer until they were pressed against each other, sitting up in the bed, using the wall as back support. Peter continued, looking up at Wade. “I think, if this is going to work, and boy do I want it to work, you need to stop killing. I can’t have that on my conscience and though I know you’d say it’s not MY conscience, I’d still feel the guilt if we were...dating. So, do you think that’s something you’d consider?”

Wade looked down at his hands resting in his lap and tried to think. He’d been feeling disgusted with the killing lately anyway. Even those who deserved to die were making Wade feel sick. Dirty. Maybe it was time to try a different way. With Peter’s help maybe he could find that different way. “Yeah Petey. I think that sounds...nice. I think it’s time.” And he glanced up to see the most beautiful smile stretched across Peter’s face.

“Maybe we could patrol together more now? You could show me the ropes. The ‘not killing’ ropes” Wade chuckled softly, reaching out to pull Peter’s hands into his lap, threading their fingers together.

“I’d like that.” Peter said with feeling. “Now, come over here and cuddle me like a good boyfriend. I’ve had a bad day and I need you.

“Anything for you, baby boy.” Wade answered, pulling Peter down under the covers with him, turning to spoon the boy in a hug that he kind of hoped would never end. Right in the bed shown in the picture that Wade still had saved on his phone. The picture that started all this. 

{We are never deleting that picture now.} 

*Did he say boyfriend?*

The end

**Author's Note:**

> Well that felt rushed to me but I didn't want to spend too long on it. Plus who the F*ck is Will? We never addressed that very well? Oh well, I'm just trying to get my creative juices flowing and brought y'all along for the ride. Enjoy or don't ;-) Maybe I'll use this prompt again to write an entirely different kind of story in the future.


End file.
